That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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