I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
