You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
