she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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