Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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