I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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