Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
