I didn't shave. On purpose
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
