Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
