it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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