I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
