it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
