dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
