Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
