just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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