you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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