Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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