so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
