Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
