I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
