I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
