I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
