Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
