So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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