I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
