What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
