i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
