Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
