So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
