is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
