just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
