Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
