Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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