Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
