Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
