Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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