I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dick very happy bro
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
