So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
