shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
