Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
