I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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