i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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