You're so nebulous sometimes
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
