so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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