glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
