don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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