if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
