party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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