that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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