apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
