Define "chronic" masturbator.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
